Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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