Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
pray to the hookup gods
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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