Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
