drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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