i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
