we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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