four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
