Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
