Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
