You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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