we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
