You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
