New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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