he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
