road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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