yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
