I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
