Only a mothe r could love this liver
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
