Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
