After last night, I could never be a politician.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
