FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
