are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize