I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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