are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
organizing the empties. That sober.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
