i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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