the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize