Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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