I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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