What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
