sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is Oprah even human
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize