haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
