She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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