New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
