And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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