so explain again why im purple
no
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ttyl tear gas
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize