why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize