Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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