You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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