why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
