I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
