FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.