i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position