Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Thanks for last night it was amazing as always

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What are you talking about

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You've got to be kidding me

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  (240): Thanks for last night it was amazing as always (703): What are you talking about (240): You've got to be kidding me http://tfl.nu/zj8e
  Replies (12) Good night (1784) Bad night (4228)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  but the lizard people decide everything anyway

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  (780): but the lizard people decide everything anyway http://tfl.nu/21qe
  Replies (27) Good night (3841) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

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  (617): were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground http://tfl.nu/2c7r
  Replies (40) Good night (10926) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem

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  (407): i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/l5fk
  Replies (50) Good night (8841) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (9409) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (13148) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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  (914): Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos http://tfl.nu/qe5u
  Replies (33) Good night (2783) Bad night (5058)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6450) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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  (804): I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success. http://tfl.nu/kq4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3172) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

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  (513): you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one http://tfl.nu/cjl0
  Replies (9) Good night (2323) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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  (907): On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks. http://tfl.nu/rprq
  Replies (4) Good night (2271) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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  (413): I think the camel was justified in biting me. http://tfl.nu/yr0l
  Replies (8) Good night (1711) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?

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  (703): And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother? http://tfl.nu/q108
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1491) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.

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  (931): Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass. http://tfl.nu/ezy8
  Replies (10) Good night (1507) Bad night (527)

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