My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
