i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I believe in your delicious
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
