Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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