dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Houston, we have a squirter
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
