we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
