I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
