He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
