Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize