she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
