I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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