Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
