They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
