I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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