good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
