You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
