3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
