after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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