i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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