Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
