would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
