what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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