You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
