I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
