Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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