He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
